In a sequence unconnected to the remainder of the episode, Stewie prevents Osama bin Laden from sending a hostile message to the United States and (in a parody of the opening scene from The Naked Gun) rides off on his Big Wheel, cycling through scenes from various films and video games. He eventually arrives at his house and runs over Homer Simpson. Upon seeing Homer on the ground, Peter asks "Who the hell is that?"
Peter awakens Lois by noisily installing a red carpet in their bedroom, anticipating watching the Emmy Awards, but Lois forces him to go to Meg's school play (which resembles the musical Godspell) instead. After David Hyde Pierce's wardrobe malfunction during the ceremony, the FCC, led by Cobra Commander, receives an insignificant volume of phone calls concerning the incident, and decides to censor any content from television that could be even slightly harmful to viewers. The censorship is applied to such content as Chrissy Snow's cleavage from Three's Company and even Dick Van Dyke's name. Peter is outraged, and on advice from Tom Tucker, starts his own TV network, PTV, on which he broadcasts classic shows unedited. He also includes original programming, such as Brian and Stewie's sitcom Cheeky Bastard, Quagmire's Playboy After Dark-esque Midnight Q, Dogs Humping, and The Peter Griffin Sideboob Hour.
PTV is successful, but Lois is furious about everyone's interest in perverted TV, as she is concerned over how children will be influenced by Peter's programming (in the DVD release, Peter and Cleveland, in a parody of Jackass, defecate on top of Lois' car). Brian argues that parents and legal guardians should take responsibility for what their children watch, and notes that there are worse influences besides TV. Regardless, Lois calls the FCC to have PTV shut down, prompting Peter, Brian, and Stewie to perform an elaborate musical number lampooning the FCC's regulations. Although impressed with the song, the arriving FCC representatives shut down PTV. When Peter tells them that they cannot prevent people from being who they are even after they censor television, they decide to take on the challenge.
The representatives start to censor any foul language and inappropriate behavior in Quahog, ruining moments of privacy: a "censor's bar" is pulled over Peter's genitals by FCC employees as he leaves the shower, all expletives are drowned out with an air horn, audible farts are overdubbed with Steven Wright punchlines, and Mayor Adam West is cautioned for shaking his penis more than once after using a urinal. Everyone in Quahog is angered except for Lois, who believes that the citizens need a lesson in decency. However, she discovers that the FCC's guidelines prevent her and Peter from having sex. Peter berates her, and she apologizes for her overzealous actions. They lobby Congress to have the FCC's rulings reversed; at first they disagree due to their strong support of the FCC, but they relent when Peter honorably retorts by making them realize the resemblance of many Washington buildings to various private parts, such as the Capitol Building to a breast. With the oppression of the FCC finally over, Lois congratulates Peter, and the family settles down to watch an episode of The Brady Bunch that prominently features toilet humor.